New Years, New Goals

happy-new-yearWhew! We made it through another year, folks! Yay, us!

Man, last year’s calendar idea was spot on for me.  I did a waaaaay better job of keeping up on my resolutions this last year.  Apparently, my secret to success is a zillion tiny aspirations and check boxes.  So as successful as that was, I’m sticking with the calendar format.  But now, what to put behind all those little check boxes?

Each year, I try to focus on at least one goal for each of four categories: physical, mental, spiritual, and professional.  Physical usually involves exercise (*shudders*).  Mental often gets kidnapped by my literary passions by giving me an excuse to burn through a zillion “educational” books.  (My two favorites from last year were Sobel’s The Planets, which filled me with awe and science, and Larson’s Dead Wake: the Last Crossing of the Lusitania, which made me cry over and over.)  And professional really just means ‘writing’, but writing doesn’t end with ‘-al’, so it had to be done.

But writing goals are hard for me; specifically, submissions are hard for me.  I do pretty well at drafting, decent enough at editing, but any steps beyond that are super painful, and for one main reason: REJECTIONS.  Rejections send me into clawing, leg-kicking death rattles every time.  I stuck to my stated submission goals in the calendar one hundred percent, excruciating as it was, but the goals themselves were weenie, anticipating the inevitable rejections I just knew I would receive from each submission.  (They weren’t all rejected, but it sure feels that way sometimes.)  I spent the year telling myself that next year I’d make some real goals, that this year was only an experiment, etc ad nauseam, and now that that new year is here, I’m a little terrified.

But I have a plan!

As demonstrated by last year’s mini-resolutions success, I do better when big goals are broken into little bits.  And as demonstrated by the check box calendar success, I will do anything for the right to scribble in a tiny box. (Gotta check ‘em all!)  I knew I needed quantifiable, attainable goals that built on themselves toward a larger total goal.  I had all the information for success, I just hadn’t put it together yet.  Then, I stumbled across Kim Liao’s Why You Should Aim for a Hundred Rejections a Year a few months ago and read it with a budding sense of excitement.  This!  This was exactly what I needed!

I needed to defeat my fear of rejections by making rejections my box-check-y goal!  *Wonder Woman stance*

So here’s the plan.  This year, I will seek out 48 rejections, averaging out to four per month; I had thought to do 52, one per week, but the monthly calendar thing made it awkward.  (Either way, it’s a wee bit smaller than Liao’s suggestion, but I’m still peeing myself a little, so we’ll start there.)  Rejections count as queries that don’t result in an agent contract or a book deal, short stories submitted that don’t get accepted, story contests I enter that I don’t place in, anything like that.  If I submit something and it is published, it doesn’t count.  With the rejections as the goal, I hope to a) trick myself into submitting more, b) encourage myself to stretch toward more competitive venues that I’m too cowardly to so much as research now, and c) overcome my crippling phobia of rejections and stop viewing them as personal hate mail and invitations to go shoot myself alone in the cold dark woods.  Whee!

On that note, this may be a copout, but since this is such a wild departure from my usual submission goals, and given my propensity toward self-loathing, I’m only forcing myself to try it for four months.  If I’m getting nothing but the weepies out of it by then, I’ll reassess.  But I have high hopes for this.  Check-boxes make everything fun.

It’s a little unorthodox as far as goals go, but I’m excited to give it a try.  After all, it’s really just an inverted publication goal; if I’m sending out that many submissions, something’s going to stick, right?  *coughs*  Right.

So how about you?  What are your goals for the year?  What are you trying to do differently?  Let me know in the comments!  I’d love to chat about it with you!

Happy writing, and happy new year!  Here’s to new beginnings! *clink!*


PS- Want more details about my personal life? You can find my overarching goals for the year, as well as a copy of January’s calendar, by clicking on this elegant link! –> marcotte-2017-resolutions Enjoy!

Finishing and Fear

FearA few months ago, I asked my Twitter pals “What keeps you from finishing a project?” There were the usual chuckles about energy, holidays, ADD and shockingly fecund plot bunnies. But the real touchpaper of the discussion came from Melanie Francisco (AKA @blacklily_f, who is totally worth the follow): “Fear, Jill. I’m terrified of failing my story.”

We all have our pet excuses, but fear factored into many of the reasons writers pegged with impeding their ability to end: fear of judgment, fear of running out of ideas, fear of imperfections, fear of not doing the premise justice. Fear factors into many of the things we do. Fear can motivate us, or paralyze us.

Alas, I am but a poor victim. And so I turned to Faye Kirwin (penname Skye Fairwin, also a follow-worthy twitter peep at @Writerology). Faye is amazing. A wearer of many hats, Faye splits her time between writing, blogging about writing and psychology, running sprints on twitter, and delving deeper into the fantastical workings of the human mind. And granting interviews!

What is fear and why do we feel it, even when we’re in no danger?

Fear is something we’ve all felt, something we all recognise yet struggle to put into words. We know how it makes our hearts pound, mouths go dry, stomachs squeeze into tight balls, but defining fear and identifying the reason for it can be more mystifying.

Psychologically speaking, fear is that feeling of dread before something negative happens, prompting us to defend ourselves. It is a reaction to a perceived threat and evolved to be part of our bodies’ defence systems, so that we can respond immediately to danger—usually by escaping from it. In a world where we can be hit by a car or mugged while walking home or trapped in a burning building, it’s understandable to feel fear. Our physical well-being is being threatened by something and our bodies react to that with fear.

Danger doesn’t just have to be of the physical kind, though. It can be emotional too. We can fear damage to our sense of worth and competency, and fear things that can threaten us socially, like rejection. It’s this fear of failing, of being criticised, of feeling worthless and incapable, that can cripple writers the most.

But writers are so often told to edit and edit and edit again. Sometimes it’s hard for us to see the line between another round of edits because the story needs it, and draft after draft because of fear. I, especially, have a hard time telling one from the other. What can I do to differentiate?

Start by asking yourself whether you’re editing because the manuscript needs it or because you’re scared to show it to someone else. Fear of rejection can lead us to sabotage our efforts. No one can judge us if we don’t finish that novel, we can’t be criticised if no one reads it, and so we keep rewriting ad infinitum.

One way to differentiate between necessary editing and fear-fuelled editing is if you lose sense of what’s good and what’s bad. Are you changing things without knowing whether you’re making the story better? Are you continually tweaking sentences in search of the perfect wording? Are you reading and re-reading to forestall sending the manuscript off to your beta readers or editors?

If you think the answer is yes, take the plunge. Send it. Submit it. Get feedback on it. Then you can move forward.

So if fear of rejection can lead us to sabotage ourselves, are there any ways we can turn fear to our favor? Can fear ever be used to increase productivity, to be more creative, etc.?

Fear can be a great tool for building a deeper emotional connection between you, your characters and your readers. Sit down with a journal for 10 minutes and write about your fears. What’s causing you worry? What are you afraid will happen? How do you feel, physically and emotionally? Acknowledge your fears and reflect on them, then channel them into your story.

By writing about the emotions you’re feeling, you can make your characters’ own emotions more poignant, sharp, raw and real. Pour your vulnerability into a story to create a far more meaningful connection between you and your reader—because, in all likelihood, they’ll have felt something similar at some point. If they can relate to it, it’s that much easier to craft an emotional experience, one that will resonate with them long after they’ve finished reading.

Channelling your fear into your writing also has the added benefit of helping you to sort through your emotions. Only when you’ve acknowledged and thought clearly and honestly about something can you begin to do something about it. That’s one reason writers get stuck—they’re afraid of rejection or failure and are afraid to confront that fear. Get it out in the open, use it to deepen the emotion in your writing, and free yourself up to be more productive and creative.

After my last manuscript was ready for beta readers, I sent it out and then… had a panic attack a half hour later. I was monitoring the internet constantly, waiting for anyone to say anything. I felt sick. I couldn’t sleep. I ate way too much. This continued until I started to hear back from readers. For many of us, even after getting up the courage to click ‘send’, the fear remains. Is this normal? Healthy? Do you have any advice for dealing with it?

It’s completely normal to feel anxious after opening yourself up to criticism like that. It’s when you start to dwell on it and it causes you problems that it becomes unhealthy.

It’s around this point that fear can turn into anxiety, which is a related but slightly different emotion. Anxiety involves anticipating a threat, something unknown that poses a danger to you. In our case, that might be the anticipation of rejection that causes us anxiety. When we’ve sent off a manuscript and are waiting for responses from readers, the situation is out of our hands. We can no longer control it, we’re expecting potentially negative responses, and so anxiety builds up.

Learning to deal with fear so that we’re no longer overwhelmed by it is the first step towards banishing those unpleasant feelings of panic and anxiety. Reach out to others, write about it in a journal, do an activity that you know calms you—anything that distracts you from thoughts about your beta readers’ responses. Remember: you can’t change anything now so don’t waste your energy worrying about it.

If you continue to feel anxious even after that, identify when you’re having thoughts that focus on failure—like receiving negative feedback from readers—and replace them with memories of your past successes and positive thoughts. We tend to forget about the fun moments we had while writing, the scenes we nailed and the good responses we’ve had in the past. Instead we brood over our lowest points, even when the positive times outweigh the negative. Remind yourself of your achievements, that your beta readers are there to help you to make your story even better, and use that built-up emotion to propel you forward with the next part of your project.

(Interested in learning more about tricking your brain into working?  Faye recently published an awesome workbook that teaches readers how to use psychology to master the art of daily writing. You can find out more about it here!)